Hairy Helmet Relays

Normal people would not spend their Friday night in a random park in Derby with other ‘abnormal’ people in the pouring rain running 2 mile ‘legs’ for a hairy helmet. A hairy what you say? A hairy helmet I say. What is a hairy helmet? It..

Has a clear medium orange yellow colour
Has an a average, frothy, good lacing, mostly lasting, white head
It is moderate malty, grain, toasted, fruity
It is sweet and bitter with a average duration
It has a medium body
Its texture is oily

  • The harder you push, the more you are pulled. – Nike Corporation on runningThe hill down was on grass so even slippier but I let my body float down, I am getting stronger at runnng down hill as I let gravity take me to the bottom. A beep on my watch told me I had done 1 mile, it felt like 10 minutes not the 6.59 minutes that I had just done it in. ‘Eat My Dust’ quoted the Hairy Helmet website was not really appropriate for this weather I would maybe say ‘Eat my mud’ as too much mud splashed up onto all runners legs. Not as bad as Man v Horse the previous week though. Oh no.Back round the park I was approaching the third female who looked about 12 years old and managed to stride past her even though my chest felt tight and my legs felt like they had been reinfoced with 10 tonnes of steel. I didn’t feel light or floaty or frothy or sweet or bitter, oh no this was painful. How come I can run 20 something miles and feel good but running 2 miles is so much pain for me?

    Coming into the finish I just didn’t have that special sprinting sprint that I at least try to do sometimes, as a result the little 12 year old girl just beat me to the finish and made it quite clear she was “infront of me” at the funnel. Ok you may be in front of me by like 0.001 seconds, that’s so like amazeballs like cray-cray like so totes, so noob, and completly pos but I am so old that I could be your mum and even your grandma so neer neer nee nerr nerr. I had done 2 miles and a bit in just over 15 minutes, with a negative split – just!

    I tagged Emma and off she went to run a brilliant 20 something 2 and a bit miler. She passed onto Becky who then ran it in 20 mins and 6 seconds. Just 6 seconds over that magic 20. It’s only 6 seconds. Only 6 seconds. And finally Chris, kitted out in his club vest he ran a fantastic effort of 15.40 just a mere 20 seconds behind my good (or bad) self.

    The reason we race isn’t so much to beat each other,.. but to be with each other.
    – Christopher McDougall

    Although some of the club teams had lapped us on the third leg, we weren’t last by any means, As the website says ‘you snoose, you loose’. For those who drink ale, the best bit was to come, a free drink for everyone and a good olde chin wag in a damp muddy cricket field. For me and Emma we nursed a cup of tea, the cheapest cup of tea from the bar I have paid in a long time, 50p a cup, 50p I tell you, only 50p – that made me more happy than running 2 and a bit miles in just over 15 minutes. That’s the way to spend a Friday evening folks! The traditional pub is so last year!


    Time: 15.20
    Distance: 2.23 miles

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